Confession Session (10 Minute Play)
CONFESSION SESSION
by
Stephanie Choi
CHARACTERS
CHARACTER #1 Person in their early thirties that is in love with their coworker
PRIEST The person Character #1 vents to
SETTING
Inside a confessional, in a Church somewhere in the world.
TIME
The present.
ACT I
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Now, where did I leave off?
PRIEST
This is a place of confession not of social hardships.
CHARACTER #1
I think I ended the last session with me obsessing over Hudson.
PRIEST
Once again, I am not a therapist, but indeed he’s all you’ve been talking about for weeks.
CHARACTER #1
Well, I like him a lot. And yes, I know it’s weird since he sees me only as the assistant that takes coffee and lunch orders but what if he actually liked me back? He did wink at me the other day when I handed him his espresso.
PRIEST
Would you like to confess something?
CHARACTER #1
I would but I also consider the potential dangers of admitting my feelings towards him. What if he doesn’t like me anymore than he likes a coworker? What if he doesn’t like me back? Oh God! What if he fires me? Can he even do that?
PRIEST
Have you considered the danger of using the lord's name in vain?
CHARACTER #1
I just don’t know what I can do
Hudson, all I think of is you
Your smile, your hair, the way you make me feel
I’m on a beach, in the sun
Dancing with you all night long
The breeze, the air hitting us
Makes me fall in love because
All I can see all I can do
Is sit here and speak of you
Hudson, give me all your love
Until we hold each other like a glove
PRIEST
Are you that passionate when you pray to God?
CHARACTER #1
I have to be brave. I need to tell him how I feel. I think a no is better than not knowing. But how do I tell him? On the phone? In the office? What will I wear? A dress? Pants? My hair in a bun? So many decisions that could ultimately ruin my life. The utter humiliation I will undergo if he rejects me would have me locked in my room for years! Do you think he likes me in pink? I will become the offices main source of pity. Should I write on his coffee cup “wanna date?”?
PRIEST
I think you’re idolizing someone who you’re not supposed to be. You should definitely talk to him in person and wear what makes you comfortable.
You say you’re in love
Well aren’t we all
You're young and wise so I’ll tell you
He’s not all that but maybe you are
You seem to forget who gave you all
In life, so it seems he’s not number one
But its not very nice to come first before Christ
CHARACTER #1
But he almost always acknowledges me when I bring him his lunch and last week, he even told me to close the door on my way out. But maybe you’re right father. Maybe Hudson is not right for me. Excuse me father, I need some air.
(Exists confession booth)
Maybe he’s right, maybe I created a perfect version of Hudson in my head when in reality he is just a boy and that would make me just a girl. The priest is right, Hudson is definitely not all that, he’s more!
Ohhhh Hudson sweetheart
My love for you has grown
People tear us apart
But my adornment is true
Only with you I'll get through
Hudson sweetheart be my saint
And love me till I faint
AHH!
(jumps in excitement then walks into confession booth)
PRIEST
Did you think everything through? Are you ready to confess?
CHARACTER #1
Yes father. I have sinned. I doubted my intense attraction for Hudson and his unbelievable face. Forgive me for my sins as I now know, he is nothing less than a ten. Thank you for enlightening me and guiding me towards the correct and sexy path.
PRIEST
Oh dear you’re delusional.
D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L
D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L
He doesn’t care about you at all
He thinks your just a stupid girl
Who’d he wouldn’t even want to whirl
And all you do is act all marry
Just to get in missionary
D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L
Why not see him for what he is
A guy with a bunch of diseases
All he does, you admire
Think of God for a while
D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L
Listen he might be catch
For someone whose considered trash
Meanwhile you sit and wait
Now understand before it’s too late
D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L
He rather you take a fall
Than for him to break you, that’s all
CHARACTER #1
I really don’t think I’m D-E-L-U-S-I-A-N-A-L. I think you just don’t know Hudson. He is different. He just doesn’t like public displays of affection which is very honorable of him.
PRIEST
Last week you told me he showed up to work with the same suit he’d worn the day before and with marks all over his neck.
CHARACTER #1
He was probably doing some late-night community service and was enjoying it so much that he got carried away and had no other choice but to go to work in his same suit. And since he was probably working with tools, he must have accidentally bruised his neck.
PRIEST
If only you could hear yourself speak, then you’d understand how pathetic you sound.
CHARACTER #1
That’s mean, isn’t there something in the Bible about not being a complete dick? I don’t think I’m pathetic, I think I am just an optimist. Men are not like they used to be. Gentlemen are a rare find and one has to be extremely lucky to land one of them. Now I just need to find someone who is attractive, has a steady income, and shares a few similarities with me. I can’t wish for something that doesn’t exist anymore. I’d spend the rest of my life alone if I try and find the perfect guy.
PRIEST
I think if anything, you’re a pessimist. You’re right, good men are harder to find now that marriage occurs later in life (sometimes not even at all) and with the increased acceptance of having no kids. But just because people like this are hard to find, doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. There are plenty of men out there that would bring you coffee to work because they know that no one ever does it for you, and that will not only thank you when you do something for them but demonstrate their gratitude through flowers and hugs. There is a man for you that opens all your doors, is consistent, vulnerable, honest, kind, compassionate, generous, reassuring, confident, inspirational, patient, understanding, encouraging, supportive, smart, ambitious, communicates, makes you laugh, has an abundance of shared interests, sees you as a person, shows affection publicly and privately, is willing to change for you, wants only to make you happy and loves you. I know this because of your ability to love the wrong person with so much passion making your love for the right person that much stronger.
CHARACTER #1
Wow father your words are so kind, I just don’t know if I believe them.
I’ve seen a film like this before
A search for the right one you’ll adore
The one who stays and treats you right
And will be there for you despite
But I'm just not sure if it’s worth the fight
Years of searching could burn my light
I need someone now and he could be him
So that way I can at least stay a swim
What's so wrong with settling
If all I need is to keep peddling
A man that’s fine will do for me
That way maybe I can be free
I’ve tried for years to find the man you described
But maybe he’s just trying to hide
From commitment and family, that’s not what he wants
So maybe Hudson will be my response
PRIEST
Well, I’m sorry you think you need to rush life like that. Don’t you think you should wait for the right person and be happy then settle for someone you most likely won’t be happy with? Will your relationship even last if it’s not based on love?
CHARACTER #1
I had my person. And I loved him.
(silence)
I’m just not sure if I can find another person I can love as much as I did him. He was my best friend. And it’s funny because he would always joke about how he was going to die before me that way he wouldn’t have to live without me. Now here I am trying to live without him. I thought he was going to be my forever, my partner for life. I think about him every day and I don’t think the day will ever come that I move on or forget about him.
PRIEST
I don’t think you should forget about him at all, that’s not realistic.
CHARACTER #1
That’s the thing even if I wanted to forget him, I couldn’t. No one can replace him anyway.
PRIEST
No one is pressuring you to forget about him. Loss is such a hard thing to deal with and grief is a long process. And of course, no one will ever be like him. But is it not unfair for every eligible guy to have to compete with the love of your life? You understand that no one can replace him but some guy, I know, will love you just as much as he did, and Hudson is not him. You will find a second perfect guy not to replace him but to share your heart with like you did before.
CHARACTER #1
But how do I let go? Every happy moment I experience I only want to share with him.
PRIEST
I can’t really help you with that because everyone heals differently. I think it takes a lot of time though. But if you start today, you will be that much closer to recovery.
CHARACTER #1
You’re right I need to start actively healing and stop living in the past. He’s gone and I will never find someone as great as him, but I can still find someone I can love just as much.
PRIEST
Already making progress.
(smiles)
CHARACTER #1
I think that’s as sad as this talk need to get. Can we talk about something else now? What’s been going on in all of your lives?
(stares at the audience)
PRIEST
Oh dear, it cannot be any better than your life.
CHARACTER #1
How about you?
(points at a sad looking audience member)
You look like your life is miserable.
PRIEST
Maybe you shouldn’t be assuming these things. What if their life is actually miserable and talking about it will only make it worse?
CHARACTER #1
You’re totally right, I hadn’t thought about it. So I guess... I’LL SING! Hit it!
You look unhappy and sad
And that kinda makes me feel bad
So why don’t you just try, to act like you don’t wanna die (Hey!)
Tell me have you seen a ghost? Or are you just the most
Pathetic, depressed, sad looking, miserable, bitter, sorrowful, another synonym for sad looking person around
(not singing) Okay I'll admit that was harsh. I’m sorry.
Cheer up and start feeling glad!
There’s no time for feeling so sad (frowns)
Try standing up shake it all up
I’ll grab you a cup
And then booze you right up
Actually I’m not sure if I should be encouraging that behavior. I can’t afford a lawsuit. So maybe...
I’ll grab you another cup
Fill it with some Seven Up!
Then maybe you’ll smile and make this play seem worthwhile
If not then there’s no choice I’ll have to kick you out of the theater because it doesn’t make sense to come to a show and not laugh and have a good time.
PRIEST
Okay okay, that’s enough of you trying to cheer people up.
CHARACTER #1
It was working, I only needed to get to the chorus.
PRIEST
That’s alright, maybe next time we’ll have a better crowd. Have you thought about what you are going to do?
CHARACTER #1
I think I’m going to start my healing process. I read online that if you want something to happen in your life, all you have to do is write it fifty times with a black pen on lined paper and then burn the paper at midnight the night of a full moon while eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. Oh! And you can only wear one sock and it must be on your left foot. My friend tried it once when she was applying for college and wanted to get into USC so her parents would buy her a Porsche and it worked. She got in! But that could’ve also been because they photoshopped pictures of her playing table tennis. Anyway, I’m sure it works.
PRIEST
There is no way that works. Your friends parents are just extremely corrupt. Why don’t you think of another way that doesn’t involve witchcraft. Something more realistic like journaling or exercise.
CHARACTER #1
I actually have been wanting to sign up for the gym next to the office. The hottest guy works there. I see him through the window all the time and I can’t help but stare. I definitely have a crush on him. He just takes over my mind whenever I walk by and sometimes, he even looks at me. He makes me so nervous, I love him.
PRIEST
I’m so confused first you were obsessing over Hudson and how you wanted him to be the one even though he has barely spoken to you, three minutes ago you were about to cry over your dead ex and now you are drooling over the gym guy. Can you decide on one guy?
CHARACTER #1
Are you slut shaming me Father? We are in an ocean filled with fish, all different and unique in their own way and you expect me to choose one? That’s not fair at all. Meanwhile all the male fish can swim around with their tiny little miniature flippers while feeling like the biggest fish in the ocean and swim with as many girl fish without being called names.
PRIEST
You’re right, I’m sorry. I just don’t understand how you can change your mind and mood so quickly.
CHARACTER #1
Well, it’s a great thing you’re not getting paid for that. Maybe you should stick to your job and not meddle in other people's lives. I also think you should get candles or something in here, it smells really bad.
PRIEST
I was trying to get you to confess something the whole time and you wouldn’t talk about anything but yourself.
CHARACTER #1
Well good friends are supposed to listen when one of them is going through stuff. And I am going through stuff! Good bye Father. Honestly, they should consider changing it to Farter because God it smells in here. Don’t you all smell it too?
(asks audience)
CHARACTER #1
I gotta go sign up for that gym now. Oh, and by the way my ex is not dead he just dumped me.
(Blackout. Right as CHARACTER #1 exists confessional)
